i guess it's true...

...what i suspected all this time.

Ouch.

Bear

Bear,

You will never know how much you mean to me. I love you so much and will miss you dearly. I can still remember the days when I would rush home from Kindergarten and tell you about my day and play with you on the bathroom floor. Those memories will never fade away. Though you were technically Sissy's dog I still keep you close to my heart, closer than any other pet. I thank you for always sticking up and protecting me. I will never forget the day where you saved me from Mom getting carried away with her spanking...I love you and I know you will continue to protect me <3 RIP Bear, my best friend. 2/20/2010

Love Always,
Ashley

Thoughts of Y-o-u

I just don't know anymore, so much is running through my head. So many thoughts and so many feelings...You and I have so much fun together and SHe always brings up the idea of us dating, but I am not real sure if I feel that way about You. However it's quite possible I do...I am just so confused and tied up in all these feelings. Is it the thought that I may have had feelings for you? Would the thought of me being with You hurt you? Even though you found someone new? I don't want to lose any friends, is this what is holding me back? Then there is yOu. Rumour has it that yOu have feelings for me, but I am not interested in that way =\ However I am attracted to yoU and YoU, but that's just a bad idea. The thought of yoU and I could just really hurt yOu...then YoU and I is probably just a bad idea all around. Then there is the idea of yOU. I get the feeling that yOU too have feelings for me, and the actions and remarks our friends make pretty much solidify that feeling. I am torn with that thought, I really don't know if I really am interested in that way...then brings me to Yoou. I am not real sure what to say about Yoou other than the fact that Yoou have been running laps in my head a lot lately. Then there is YOu. YOu knew I was attracted to YOu, and I knew that YOu didn't feel the same. Now we have become good friends and I am happy with that. I don't think I want anything nore that to be a close friend of YOurs. I definetly don't want to ruin our growing friendship. Next brings me to yoou. Though we are about to embark on almost a year without having spoken a single word to eachother, the thought of us possibly being an "us" continues to give me goose bumps...but that will never happen. Of course this thought would not be complete if I failed to mention YOU. Though I feel YOU have put me through a lot, I always find myself crawling back for more, and hoping to possibly talk like lovers do. Even after all my friends tell me that I deserve better and that I need to just give up, I just can't. Something always brings me back to you...even if you are a "tool" as everyone says. All the people and all the feelings but why is it that I am so scared to act on them, or to look deeper into them to figure them out? Is it the fact that the way my last relationship ended has me scared to get into another? Am I afraid of losing someone close if it doesn't work out? I am not sure...but i do know that I dont want to be alone anymore...

You.

Over the past few days you have been sprinting laps in my head. I have no idea why all of a sudden the thought of you keeps racing through my mind. It has been pretty difficult dealing with this. I thought I was over you and over it, but now I guess I am not completely over you... I keep replaying the past few days over and over trying to figure out what triggered this interest again. I just cannot come up with anything that can even come close to answering the reason for the sudden thought and interest in you. It has been so long, I'm just so confused. I see you, photographs, smell your smell, and the chills race through my spine. I think of those days and I miss them, but I am just going to take it day by day, as that is all I can do...